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When Those Two Lines Appear

When Those Two Lines Appear

 You may have been here. Sitting on the toilet, waiting for the pregnancy test to develop. Maybe you're hopeful after a loss or years of struggling with infertility. Maybe you just feel a little "off" and are wondering if this could be it.

Then you see it, the two blue lines. Your stomach jumps a little with excitement, fear, happiness, sadness, giddiness, or anger. Any and all feelings can happen in that moment. This is a moment that belongs to you. It's between yourself and your body, and there's nothing I know of that is comparable. 

I've been there. My first it felt like we were trying forever, although it was only a little over 6 months. The two blue lines appeared the day before I was due to get my period, after my husband had already left for work. The entire day was filled with anxiety and excitement. The worry set in later. It seems like there's always worry when you're pregnant.

I've been there. With my third pregnancy, I was not excited. I was angry and upset and unhappy about that second line that meant another baby was coming. A month and a half later, I had a miscarriage and I felt guilty and angry and sad, but also felt like I wasn't allowed to feel those things. I wrote a blog awhile back unpacking that.

I've been there. My fourth pregnancy, which was planned, I felt uneasy and nervous. Guilty for wanting a baby again after losing one. Worried about if this one would stick.

Whatever you're feeling, whatever you've felt when you saw that positive pregnancy test, you're not alone. Your feelings are valid, and normal.

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